| "so when i sleep ill think of you sleeping next to me,
and when i dream i'll dream of you coming to rescue me from my life,
my life without you."
damnit, i wish i wrote this.
James McCane is awesome. check out his music on myspace. | comments: Leave a comment   |
| | All aspects of my life are great right now except for one.. And unfortunately that one aspect of my life is the most important to me. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | You are right, i dont understand this. How could you think that I would look at you with judgemental eyes? You are mistaken. My eyes have never been anything but loving for you. Maybe you can make me the exception to your rules. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | We are all going through something but you cant drop everyone you know and let what you are struggling with take over and control your life. I need to take my own advice. | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| | I wish i could go back to the old days when my relationships were still built on trust. Any complicated bullshit was disregarded and seen as bullshit instead of something we needed to fixate on and get to the root of the problem. People were forgiven and although the issue of holding grudges would arise, they were easily forgotten with an act of kindness. Kindness doesnt cut it when problems and conflicts are intertwined with other problems and conflicts. I can't believe that I have been told to deny, disregard, and forget instead of help and actually be the friend i was meant to be. But when specifically my help is not needed, I begin to question why. And i know all the answers because I have had them said to my face before. I never had the courtesy of finding out from others or assuming that someone is talking about me behind my back. I know why I am not good enough because I've been told exactly why I am not. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| plans for summer:
1.go on a quick vacation w/ the fam as soon as i get back into town. (chillin on the santa fe :) oww!!)
2.WORK!! get a sweeeeet job that pays really well :) (prostitution is not an option... unfortunatly haha)
3.write and record more music! Solo stuff and side project with my homies.(play some small coffee shops)
4.Hit up the beach and get back into surfing hardcore.
5.start learning some french so i can prepare for my class in the fall.
6.Chilllllllllllllllll w/ homies :) <---- by far my favorite plan for the summer :)
7.go on a quick trip before fall starts back up.
My summer is looking pretty sweet. These are my only expectations.. anything else is just bonus :).
I'm so excited... just 6 more finals and I'll be chillin like a villan w/ Bob Dillan.
haha 6 sounds like 6 too many
pshhhhh oh well :P
haha no one reads this. I guess this entry is a note to myself so i remember all my summer plans.. other than that... uhhhhh... payce out! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| why do you have to be so damn cute?? :)
UNRELATED:
I have a final on friday and then 5 more next week :( Friday night will be my last night of real fun in tally before i come home for the summer. It is sad, but i need to study for my finals!! My GPA is lookin hott ;)
I'm so stoked for my classes next fall, they all seem so amazing. I'm taking 16 credit hours again which is a lil tough, but i'll manage somehow (hopefully).
here's the list:
1. French
2. Ethical Issues (Philosophy based)
3. Anthropology
4. International Relations
5. Short Story (English Elective)
I'll be in my major by spring :) owww owww!!! it is so weird for me to get this excited over school, but i really enjoy it- my nerdy side is finally coming out and i dont mind it at all. I almost feel like i missed out all those times in high school, playing lacrosse instead of studying- haha nahhhhh no f'n way, lacrosse was so much better than high school haha. ;P | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I die.
I'm throwing in the towel.
Dont be mad when i do what you have asked me to do.
other news :
recorded a song when i was home this weekend.
I'm so excited to hear the finished version :)
Andrew is amazing. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I'll never ever stop wondering,
Wondering if you still think of us.
I don't need a photograph cause you never left my mind. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Lets pretend we dont exist, Lets pretend we're in Antarctica :) | | comments: Leave a comment |
|
- Passionate love:State of intense longing for union with one another.
Reciprocation leads to fulfillment & joy
Refusal leads to emptiness & despair
| | comments: Leave a comment |
| | WOW, I just experienced a major feeling of jealousy. I must do something to counteract this feeling before it consumes my day... but what??? | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Today has been one of the hardest in years. Death is never an easy thing to deal with, no matter who it is. I've dealt with multiple deaths of family members and friends from the time i was young until now. I'm not sure if it gets easier or harder to deal with as you age. I feel that even though i've become "experienced" with having people around me die, i still cannot rationalize the situation or mask my emotions of it. It always hits you like a ton of bricks, knocking you over until you rebuild yourself and accept that "it is better this way". Today I said my last goodbye knowing i would not see him alive again. I pray this is not the case. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Valentines day was a blast. Everyone seemed extra nice today :). I ran into instances with people in the mall, parking garage, and in my dorm that made everyone seems extra cheery and happy. Maybe it is just this day that makes everyone feel more caring and loved which makes us all treat eachother better. Tonight i was a waitress at a singles v-day dinner event and it was cool to see all the singles having a good time. I hope everyone elses valentines day went well even if you didnt have a date to share it with :) | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | why did i make so many mistakes with you? why didnt anyone stop me? I was naive. I was young. I was much different back then. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| It is officially 2:20am in the morning and i have class at 9am but i really need to get this entry off my chest before i attempt to fall asleep, otherwise i will most likely have a restless night.
I find it incredibly interesting how our moods can change so vastly in the course of a day. This morning i woke up exhausted, bothered, and emotional. As my day progressed i slept off my tiredness but my feelings of confusion and unfullfillment stuck with me. Situations and conversations occured resolving a good portion of my stress, leaving me relieved, and later grateful for so many things in my life. A day that started off horrible ended with me becoming a more thankful person.
I realize that I have much to improve upon in my life. I can invision my ideal self clearly and i am not there nor will i ever truely be there because their are somethings we just cannot become, whether it is beyond our reach physically, mentally, or just unreasonable. But realizing my ideal self has givin me the opportunity to approve upon my overall sense of self. There is no reason that one should not be striving to fullfill their absolute potential as a successful or more importantly satisfied human being. In order to be satisfied or happy with ones life, other opinions should not interfere with ones true desires. If you are not true to yourself, you will not lead the life you are meant to lead. This will create a margin of error in your life that will eventually take over until the day you realize "that decision cost me MY life"... or "all these wrong decisions i have made in my life have left me with this burden". However, everything looks clearer in hindsight, any standard psych major could tell you that. Where am i going with this you ask? I couldnt really tell you. All i know is that i have been reflecting upon my life recently; past, present, and future, and i am finally starting to figure out who I truely am. Some of my findings are quite frightning.. like thinking "did i really do that.. God i am horrible", but all those bad decisions have made me realize that although i am human and i have the leeway to make mistakes, I also have the ability to make the right decisions to inevitably leave me where i am meant to be in life, or more importantly where i want to be in life. The consequences of your mistake today could potentially stick with you for the rest of your life, so make your decisions wisely, and hope that if you screw up (and we have a tendency of doing so) that the person that you have wronged is a forgiving person. | | comments: Leave a comment |
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